went for socialogy tutorial class today. it was horrible. first it's boring and draggy..and unfortunately there's a group with 3 people. we have to decide one group had to move their members to this group. tutor came up with drawing lots. i thought it may be a better alternative since my group got 6 people..whereas others have 5. everyone rushed out to draw. i sat and praying some unlucky ones would pick it. dots.
in the end it was left with 2..yes the two who didn't go pick..so we were forced with move one out? i am just sad about this. i thought i may be able to group with my secondary school friend. now it's all screwed up. i got no idea why. my group used to have 5 people. but one of the members' friend just cut in. i am not saying she's wrong. i mean who don't like to work with their own friends, right? i was just kind of disgusted with her attitude...just abit..i don't really like ah lian you see. and she's one. haii..i just want to work with my secondary school mate. just a small little request from me and you are against me. why do god had to fool me always? why must you put me in such a difficult person? why am i so emotional? really hate myself. the way i am build up...too fragile. my friend and i didn't draw the 2 lots. tutor said we have to think of a plan to solve this problem. so what am i suppose to do with this shit. it just annoyed me when i cant't work with people i want to....
life is such a trouble. got to squeeze in bus after tutorial. saw this little boy saying 'uncle. uncle.' he had been trying to find his way through and alight through the front door. and i finally giggled and nodded in agreement. life still has something beautiful. but this thought was ended within a minute. i heard something bang into the bus. and when i turned my head and the windscreen of the bus, i saw this bird got hit by the bus. definitely going to be dead i guess. and it pull me off once again. life's really sad..just when i thought a bird can fly freely in the sky, it got ramped by the bus. ok it's first time i seen such thing. i couldn't believe such thing would happen..almost right in front of my eye..moody..
was so pissed i left after waiting for 20minutes..i was suppose to see a chinese physician. don't know how to spell though. whatever. stupid me. ended up taking a bus to see family doctor.
if life's so sad always, i wonder why i must continue to torture myself. =s i have social problems with my classmates. can't seem to bond as well as others did. i hate myself. a lot alot. everyone was talking outing the classroom before class. and me? standing beside there..doing nothing, except hearing what they were talking. i can't accomplish the things i want to achieve, even simple task i failed. and sadness is with me every single day. i can't seem to shake it off.
I FEEL DAMN USELESS. HELP ME to become a better man....
HELP!!!!!
