i don't know how to start.

orientation was quite okay. played some icebreaker games and did some cheers. ermm. i just have short term memory(stm) remebering the names of new classmates. everyone seems to be doing just fine, except me lahs..so embarrassing. cancer should have powerful memory. okay i am the exception. was so lost. thanks for peeps who helped me hahas. got to know some very enthusiastic and passionate peeps. our cheers isn't that good compared to others. super soft and everyone was like trying to stand against the wall before the cheer starts. lols. no idea why i guess no one want to stand in first row and throw face =p then got this hunting game? hmm..must accomplish certain tasks. some which are very lame. gosh..i hid myself and tried not to participate..=/

and guess what T04(my class) won third lahs..kind of unbelievable. hahas. why? because i thought we may get second mahs. dots..and what is our prize? food food and more food shared among our class. yeaa...

went to amk central after that to eat with weiming and caijun. drank a bottle of beer. trying to numb myself. i know it doesn't help at all lahs. mood jsut swing. what to do. i hope i just get drunk lahs.. don't ask me even why. i don't know. it's just nothing...suddenly i feel like shouting this

I DON'T WANT TO BE A BACHELOR!!!!

to be continued....


i don't know my feelings now. i am a failure. i can only tell others to do this and that. and yes i think it's a must to express the feelings to others. chances don't come by easily. life is like a game. you miss it and you will regret. i have lots of regrets in my life right now, happening everyday. i have seen a lot of people i like. but i didn't do anything. i have my personal reasons for that. 'Know where you stand' i have nothing to boost about, unlike many others. a loser like me doesn't deserve anything. i have thought of this 'what will happen if i am no longer in this world?' life will still continue. there may be a small group of people who will be sad. saddness in them won't last forever. life continuessss...in this world. i am just a like dust, bacteria, atoms, electrons...whatever. so what if i like this girl in my class? so what?!? i know i won't do a thing! i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. and don't tell me any theory. because it just doesn't get in my brain.

under the advises of friends and family...i have my long hair cut =( alright it's like that they force me. no one can force me to do things i don't like to. all the while i have been wanting to keep my hair longer..just a little longer...but i guess long hair doesn't suit me..

finally got the chance to meet my new classmates. well it's a very small class. somehow i haven't make any friends yet...played this game where by one has make 3 statements and the tutor has to guess it's true/false. got to know new classmates a bit better. was shocked by this girl who was born in 8 july. firstly i never expect anyone nor i have met someone who had the same day as me, eventhough not same year lah.. but what surprise me was the guy sitting beside me was also born in july 8! what the..aahahs..at first i was thinking he may be making a false statement. but it wasn't! so my new class have 3 person born in same date!! gosh..hope this year's birthday will be fun with my new class? rather than having to spend it in hospital :)

met up with some girls from 1B06 and jm to eat at tm...and i was like so bad lah..laughing not aware that jm lost his wallet..damn that guy who found his wallet and took it! raHHHH...i am sure i wouldn't be as calm as him if i were in his situation. luckily not his IC inside..that's something to be glad.

looking forward to go out again:)
hope i will like my class bahs:)

looking into the mirror. if only i am a better man. alright.

found out something i rather not know. i feel weird after knowing that. i shouldn't even be bothered. to others it just a minor thing. to me it's something i care. i don't know about now. i can't even understand myself well, so how am i going to understand others. i have been going out the past few days.

went kbox with my secondary school friend. spent a alot. sang from 2+ till 7. i didn't realize singing can be so tiring. erm..yes i know my singing isn't good. still singing is the best medicine for me whenever i am down :):) i guess my fellow friends will understand me.

oh no school starts next week. sighs. i guess i spent this holiday quite fruitfully?? shrugs. at least i went to swim for the past 2 weeks. and suddenly i have the urge to swim..just for today. hahas..in fact i will/should continue when school reopens. let's see if i can..going to meet more people in school. can't believe year 2's going to start...gosh..headache. i just pray everything will be fine bahs...

ohhh driving is fun and scary..no doubt. manage to rent a rather old car for one and a half day..goshhh it's been so long since i last drove. but i am glad to really find someone who is willing to rent a car to this kiddy me. alright. the car is as old as me..just kidding. but be thankful it didn't break down.

loves to drive my friends around singapore. getting lost is a common thing. pardon me because i am the a newbie. hehe...i just have a phobia of driving to new places. may be i still need more practices. there are also times i nearly meet accidents. yes..especially the first night we drove along east coast. oh man..so nearly..so shocking..almost had and heart attack. just when i was telling my friend i have a weird feeling and then taxi almost bang into me or a motorcycle. i feel lucky that nothing wrong happened. and i feel i was someohow protected and blessed these one and a half day. i promise i will be more careful..and i need to drive more too i know. so scary..it seems i was more scared than my friend. =.= feel so sorry because it just ruined the whole night..may be i was too tired..after driving for so many hours. may be my six sense proved me right.

and back in the night sleeping i was having countless nightmare. i kept dreamt that i met countless car accidents. didn't sleep well that night. thought i was drained.

went to this uncle ringo funfair at sengkang. played this thrill ride and bumper car. oh god it was sooo fun..love free fall. hahas..ended up not using up all the petrol..Zzzz..shouldn't have pump so much petrol in the first place. total waste ><

yes my prayer sort of worked and i was able to see her again. but i knew it was the last time too. i did cherish the moment spent, but it's like never enough. went to eat roti prata after that..yummy..ordered plain, cheese and egg...wow the portion was kind of big. still egg prata is the best :) then went j8 to shop for pencil case...hmm..i really wish time will never stop. yupx

the next day i dragged myelf to swim..but i felt so lonely. i had used to her appearance...i longed for. but it will never happen. became so lifeness and dead. i knew i will become the dead man. feel kind of helpless too. blame for my poor personality. i am too weak to face trouble. i need long time to stand up. i hope i never fall. but i do. however i thank 'god' for what i have now. may be this is what my life has to go through. i miss you and hope to see you again real soon.

mood changed after i met my poly friends. yea it's been a real long time. so long that i want to stay overnight. and i did. have lots of fun. but this 'truth and truth' session left me a big question mark. i seems to have so many questions i want to ask. i want to satisfy my curiosity. not only that. i want to the side which i don't know but want to know. i didnt have the courage to ask. once again i blame myself.

thing would have changed............it just refreshed my memory. something i wanted to do before this holiday. but i failed to do so. on my way back i keep thinking...thinking...

i know i am just a guy who don't know how to express his feelings well. someone whose grammer is horrible.

I miss you you and you...

simply confused and mad...OOOOoooooo....

life is all about crashes. thats me. wish to see her again. for the last time if possible. yupx. recently had alot of injuries. first i sprained my shoulder two days ago..and now my neck..ouch!!!

kind of disappointed today..regret for the day is that she didn't follow us. sighs..
lets pray for a better tomorrow. :):)sooo hungry now...

'do i look like a bad guy?'

this question makes me ponder. was playing table tennis at viod deck yesterday. didn't expect police partol car. not only that. police asked for my identity card again..not again i thought?! dots who would expect such thing happen here too. and i usually bring along my IC with me here. but not somewhere near my house. sighs..i wouldn't really mind if it's me alone. but not with my friend. so embarrassing and sorry about that *bow*was asked where i stayed and to write down my name, address and IC no. Ping showed his IC and even his handphone (thats something weird) eh? we just thought we did something wrong or what. s=

came home telling mum and she immediately started shooting me about me dying my hair and getting all these trouble. 'you have never have such thing before right? not before you dyed your hair' , ' don't ever dye your hair again.' etc....sighs..may be she's right.. just may be...i got no idea. but even my parents say i look like a drug addict now with this hair.

it makes me wonder what kind of person i am now.......i doubt myself. my heart is in a total mess. i am just jealous.

ciao

whats taking me so long to update? so lazy! recently i am trying to go excerise..to be more healthier and fitter =) lets see how long i can hold on to this lah..maybe 2 week? hahas. going swimming in the morning..and night jogging once in a while. JIA YOU U CAN DO IT!!!

ok back to my holiday trip..so i did go to macau but in the few days. another rush trip. awww. yes it was my wish to go there to meet someone special there. hah. thought i wouldn't make it. my cousin told me it was hard to take leave so suddenly. but thank god he did make it. thanks:)) he told me the previous night! gosh. luckily there wasn't much preparation to be done lahs..and i was so excited to see them. yeap. i couldn't sleep. have lots of thought like how's life? what to say when i see them..blah blah blah..manage to give them a little surprise i guess? what they did surprise me. i really didn't think i would see chit this time. kind of shocked to hear they she was coming with ming during lunch break. but...i was totally speechless when i saw chit and ming. dotted =/ i just giggled at their jokes and eat my lunch...*silently* hmm..and chit seems to be differernt from her photos. how should i say...prettier even thought she had pimples on her nose(hello..little clown) ^_^

so we went out after they left for school..window shopping...bought some goodies to be bring back for relatives and friends..it was heavy >.<>< all i know was i could feel my burning cheek =x was kind of disappointed to hear that ming don't want to go to fisherman's wharf after dinner. but thank god she did follow..yups yups:)) took lots of photo..still waiting to receive them. they are just too busy with their daily school work, tests and coming exams. so lets be patient:) chatted a while more before the sisters went to bed (school the next day, sadly).

lets just end here. but before that..hmm. i would like to say ming had really grown quite a lot from what i observed. you did it!! well done..hehe...though it was a short 2 days trip..i really love the time spent with them..lots of fun!!! and.....i don't know when i can see them again (ming may be going oversea to study) and there are too many unforseen. sighssss..i can only complain there wasn't enough time....

me to cousin: don't you think it will be weird to visit them alone?'
cousin: yes.......
me: sighsss...
me: watch the digital clock in the bus 8:02, 8:03, 8:07.
me: sorrow...sadness...regrets....


~THE END~

i don't know how to start.

orientation was quite okay. played some icebreaker games and did some cheers. ermm. i just have short term memory(stm) remebering the names of new classmates. everyone seems to be doing just fine, except me lahs..so embarrassing. cancer should have powerful memory. okay i am the exception. was so lost. thanks for peeps who helped me hahas. got to know some very enthusiastic and passionate peeps. our cheers isn't that good compared to others. super soft and everyone was like trying to stand against the wall before the cheer starts. lols. no idea why i guess no one want to stand in first row and throw face =p then got this hunting game? hmm..must accomplish certain tasks. some which are very lame. gosh..i hid myself and tried not to participate..=/

and guess what T04(my class) won third lahs..kind of unbelievable. hahas. why? because i thought we may get second mahs. dots..and what is our prize? food food and more food shared among our class. yeaa...

went to amk central after that to eat with weiming and caijun. drank a bottle of beer. trying to numb myself. i know it doesn't help at all lahs. mood jsut swing. what to do. i hope i just get drunk lahs.. don't ask me even why. i don't know. it's just nothing...suddenly i feel like shouting this

I DON'T WANT TO BE A BACHELOR!!!!

to be continued....


i don't know my feelings now. i am a failure. i can only tell others to do this and that. and yes i think it's a must to express the feelings to others. chances don't come by easily. life is like a game. you miss it and you will regret. i have lots of regrets in my life right now, happening everyday. i have seen a lot of people i like. but i didn't do anything. i have my personal reasons for that. 'Know where you stand' i have nothing to boost about, unlike many others. a loser like me doesn't deserve anything. i have thought of this 'what will happen if i am no longer in this world?' life will still continue. there may be a small group of people who will be sad. saddness in them won't last forever. life continuessss...in this world. i am just a like dust, bacteria, atoms, electrons...whatever. so what if i like this girl in my class? so what?!? i know i won't do a thing! i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. i don't stand a chance. and don't tell me any theory. because it just doesn't get in my brain.

under the advises of friends and family...i have my long hair cut =( alright it's like that they force me. no one can force me to do things i don't like to. all the while i have been wanting to keep my hair longer..just a little longer...but i guess long hair doesn't suit me..

finally got the chance to meet my new classmates. well it's a very small class. somehow i haven't make any friends yet...played this game where by one has make 3 statements and the tutor has to guess it's true/false. got to know new classmates a bit better. was shocked by this girl who was born in 8 july. firstly i never expect anyone nor i have met someone who had the same day as me, eventhough not same year lah.. but what surprise me was the guy sitting beside me was also born in july 8! what the..aahahs..at first i was thinking he may be making a false statement. but it wasn't! so my new class have 3 person born in same date!! gosh..hope this year's birthday will be fun with my new class? rather than having to spend it in hospital :)

met up with some girls from 1B06 and jm to eat at tm...and i was like so bad lah..laughing not aware that jm lost his wallet..damn that guy who found his wallet and took it! raHHHH...i am sure i wouldn't be as calm as him if i were in his situation. luckily not his IC inside..that's something to be glad.

looking forward to go out again:)
hope i will like my class bahs:)

looking into the mirror. if only i am a better man. alright.

found out something i rather not know. i feel weird after knowing that. i shouldn't even be bothered. to others it just a minor thing. to me it's something i care. i don't know about now. i can't even understand myself well, so how am i going to understand others. i have been going out the past few days.

went kbox with my secondary school friend. spent a alot. sang from 2+ till 7. i didn't realize singing can be so tiring. erm..yes i know my singing isn't good. still singing is the best medicine for me whenever i am down :):) i guess my fellow friends will understand me.

oh no school starts next week. sighs. i guess i spent this holiday quite fruitfully?? shrugs. at least i went to swim for the past 2 weeks. and suddenly i have the urge to swim..just for today. hahas..in fact i will/should continue when school reopens. let's see if i can..going to meet more people in school. can't believe year 2's going to start...gosh..headache. i just pray everything will be fine bahs...

ohhh driving is fun and scary..no doubt. manage to rent a rather old car for one and a half day..goshhh it's been so long since i last drove. but i am glad to really find someone who is willing to rent a car to this kiddy me. alright. the car is as old as me..just kidding. but be thankful it didn't break down.

loves to drive my friends around singapore. getting lost is a common thing. pardon me because i am the a newbie. hehe...i just have a phobia of driving to new places. may be i still need more practices. there are also times i nearly meet accidents. yes..especially the first night we drove along east coast. oh man..so nearly..so shocking..almost had and heart attack. just when i was telling my friend i have a weird feeling and then taxi almost bang into me or a motorcycle. i feel lucky that nothing wrong happened. and i feel i was someohow protected and blessed these one and a half day. i promise i will be more careful..and i need to drive more too i know. so scary..it seems i was more scared than my friend. =.= feel so sorry because it just ruined the whole night..may be i was too tired..after driving for so many hours. may be my six sense proved me right.

and back in the night sleeping i was having countless nightmare. i kept dreamt that i met countless car accidents. didn't sleep well that night. thought i was drained.

went to this uncle ringo funfair at sengkang. played this thrill ride and bumper car. oh god it was sooo fun..love free fall. hahas..ended up not using up all the petrol..Zzzz..shouldn't have pump so much petrol in the first place. total waste ><

yes my prayer sort of worked and i was able to see her again. but i knew it was the last time too. i did cherish the moment spent, but it's like never enough. went to eat roti prata after that..yummy..ordered plain, cheese and egg...wow the portion was kind of big. still egg prata is the best :) then went j8 to shop for pencil case...hmm..i really wish time will never stop. yupx

the next day i dragged myelf to swim..but i felt so lonely. i had used to her appearance...i longed for. but it will never happen. became so lifeness and dead. i knew i will become the dead man. feel kind of helpless too. blame for my poor personality. i am too weak to face trouble. i need long time to stand up. i hope i never fall. but i do. however i thank 'god' for what i have now. may be this is what my life has to go through. i miss you and hope to see you again real soon.

mood changed after i met my poly friends. yea it's been a real long time. so long that i want to stay overnight. and i did. have lots of fun. but this 'truth and truth' session left me a big question mark. i seems to have so many questions i want to ask. i want to satisfy my curiosity. not only that. i want to the side which i don't know but want to know. i didnt have the courage to ask. once again i blame myself.

thing would have changed............it just refreshed my memory. something i wanted to do before this holiday. but i failed to do so. on my way back i keep thinking...thinking...

i know i am just a guy who don't know how to express his feelings well. someone whose grammer is horrible.

I miss you you and you...

simply confused and mad...OOOOoooooo....

life is all about crashes. thats me. wish to see her again. for the last time if possible. yupx. recently had alot of injuries. first i sprained my shoulder two days ago..and now my neck..ouch!!!

kind of disappointed today..regret for the day is that she didn't follow us. sighs..
lets pray for a better tomorrow. :):)sooo hungry now...

'do i look like a bad guy?'

this question makes me ponder. was playing table tennis at viod deck yesterday. didn't expect police partol car. not only that. police asked for my identity card again..not again i thought?! dots who would expect such thing happen here too. and i usually bring along my IC with me here. but not somewhere near my house. sighs..i wouldn't really mind if it's me alone. but not with my friend. so embarrassing and sorry about that *bow*was asked where i stayed and to write down my name, address and IC no. Ping showed his IC and even his handphone (thats something weird) eh? we just thought we did something wrong or what. s=

came home telling mum and she immediately started shooting me about me dying my hair and getting all these trouble. 'you have never have such thing before right? not before you dyed your hair' , ' don't ever dye your hair again.' etc....sighs..may be she's right.. just may be...i got no idea. but even my parents say i look like a drug addict now with this hair.

it makes me wonder what kind of person i am now.......i doubt myself. my heart is in a total mess. i am just jealous.

ciao

whats taking me so long to update? so lazy! recently i am trying to go excerise..to be more healthier and fitter =) lets see how long i can hold on to this lah..maybe 2 week? hahas. going swimming in the morning..and night jogging once in a while. JIA YOU U CAN DO IT!!!

ok back to my holiday trip..so i did go to macau but in the few days. another rush trip. awww. yes it was my wish to go there to meet someone special there. hah. thought i wouldn't make it. my cousin told me it was hard to take leave so suddenly. but thank god he did make it. thanks:)) he told me the previous night! gosh. luckily there wasn't much preparation to be done lahs..and i was so excited to see them. yeap. i couldn't sleep. have lots of thought like how's life? what to say when i see them..blah blah blah..manage to give them a little surprise i guess? what they did surprise me. i really didn't think i would see chit this time. kind of shocked to hear they she was coming with ming during lunch break. but...i was totally speechless when i saw chit and ming. dotted =/ i just giggled at their jokes and eat my lunch...*silently* hmm..and chit seems to be differernt from her photos. how should i say...prettier even thought she had pimples on her nose(hello..little clown) ^_^

so we went out after they left for school..window shopping...bought some goodies to be bring back for relatives and friends..it was heavy >.<>< all i know was i could feel my burning cheek =x was kind of disappointed to hear that ming don't want to go to fisherman's wharf after dinner. but thank god she did follow..yups yups:)) took lots of photo..still waiting to receive them. they are just too busy with their daily school work, tests and coming exams. so lets be patient:) chatted a while more before the sisters went to bed (school the next day, sadly).

lets just end here. but before that..hmm. i would like to say ming had really grown quite a lot from what i observed. you did it!! well done..hehe...though it was a short 2 days trip..i really love the time spent with them..lots of fun!!! and.....i don't know when i can see them again (ming may be going oversea to study) and there are too many unforseen. sighssss..i can only complain there wasn't enough time....

me to cousin: don't you think it will be weird to visit them alone?'
cousin: yes.......
me: sighsss...
me: watch the digital clock in the bus 8:02, 8:03, 8:07.
me: sorrow...sadness...regrets....


~THE END~