so many things to blog. i just don't know where to begin. or some reason. i have now become a paranoid.

wednesday, 26/7/06
firstly i just realise i hate myself even more. i were shot my many people. it was began with me feeling too stressed up after the accounting test on tuesday. i was so lost, so unhappy and just want to go and have some fun to destress myself (or else i will die or do even more stupid me). well..i knew i was wrong in the first place. because i went to play pool with jian ming, clarrissa, yuan teng and affan without asking them whether they are doing project or not. actually i did message sashi way before. but somehow she just didn't receive it. *shrugx* so i guess i am fated to get scolded that day. i know i am wrong, but i just want to emphasis that i am not that irresposible till i left without telling anyone. thought i am wrong lahs. basically it was me and jian ming, but due to some factors, the rest came along with us, though it's not as i planned *eyes rolling* i have to admit i should learn how to reject other's request, and not nodding my head all the times. okiex..came up school and late for comm skil. and that's when the nightmare began. i sense everybody giving me all sorts of unahappiness in them. i just feel so okiex..they gave me wierd look, as if i did something seriously wrong. my mood just swing since then. changing back to the old gary, which is even more detestable and disgusting. i couldn't concentrate on my work. sashi finally spoke up. i dare not to comment on anything. because i know i don't have the rights. well, i guess i need to apologise to my group members. SORRY!!! i feel i am an outcast since then. indeed I AM.

Thursday, 27/7/06
i am just very unhappy. reason: 'unknown' x=
i just wish i can let my feelings flow. but, it's imposssible. i rather choose to hide and let it be.

had pom project presentation. every group seems to do so well..but when it comes to me. i am just too afraid to speak up. i didn't present well. worst of all, i am the one to be blamed for. in order to let sashi move out. i bend down n accidentially sat on the powerpoint. and there is go. it's broken. not funny. i started to panick. it's so too embarrasing. everything went on so well, the tutor was nodding and i assumed he acknowledged what we did. all thanks to me. i ruined the whole presentation. because of me we couldn't project our slides and clips to the class. i am sorry. again. *bow* i feel like nothing more than a jinx than part of a team. i didn't see the acknowledgement since then. oh wells. lots of comments were discussed. and it will be individual performance next week. i wonder what kind of lousy feedback i will be getting. sighs. just too much happened these few days. i couldn't take it anymore. few of us stayed back for a game. wow..such a surprise. it did cheer me up a little, but not long.

i feel so extra. i do not know where i stand. i am an outcast. everyone knows. where is the once happy and worried free me? lost. and nowhere to be found.

sad4evaz is back.

so many things to blog. i just don't know where to begin. or some reason. i have now become a paranoid.

wednesday, 26/7/06
firstly i just realise i hate myself even more. i were shot my many people. it was began with me feeling too stressed up after the accounting test on tuesday. i was so lost, so unhappy and just want to go and have some fun to destress myself (or else i will die or do even more stupid me). well..i knew i was wrong in the first place. because i went to play pool with jian ming, clarrissa, yuan teng and affan without asking them whether they are doing project or not. actually i did message sashi way before. but somehow she just didn't receive it. *shrugx* so i guess i am fated to get scolded that day. i know i am wrong, but i just want to emphasis that i am not that irresposible till i left without telling anyone. thought i am wrong lahs. basically it was me and jian ming, but due to some factors, the rest came along with us, though it's not as i planned *eyes rolling* i have to admit i should learn how to reject other's request, and not nodding my head all the times. okiex..came up school and late for comm skil. and that's when the nightmare began. i sense everybody giving me all sorts of unahappiness in them. i just feel so okiex..they gave me wierd look, as if i did something seriously wrong. my mood just swing since then. changing back to the old gary, which is even more detestable and disgusting. i couldn't concentrate on my work. sashi finally spoke up. i dare not to comment on anything. because i know i don't have the rights. well, i guess i need to apologise to my group members. SORRY!!! i feel i am an outcast since then. indeed I AM.

Thursday, 27/7/06
i am just very unhappy. reason: 'unknown' x=
i just wish i can let my feelings flow. but, it's imposssible. i rather choose to hide and let it be.

had pom project presentation. every group seems to do so well..but when it comes to me. i am just too afraid to speak up. i didn't present well. worst of all, i am the one to be blamed for. in order to let sashi move out. i bend down n accidentially sat on the powerpoint. and there is go. it's broken. not funny. i started to panick. it's so too embarrasing. everything went on so well, the tutor was nodding and i assumed he acknowledged what we did. all thanks to me. i ruined the whole presentation. because of me we couldn't project our slides and clips to the class. i am sorry. again. *bow* i feel like nothing more than a jinx than part of a team. i didn't see the acknowledgement since then. oh wells. lots of comments were discussed. and it will be individual performance next week. i wonder what kind of lousy feedback i will be getting. sighs. just too much happened these few days. i couldn't take it anymore. few of us stayed back for a game. wow..such a surprise. it did cheer me up a little, but not long.

i feel so extra. i do not know where i stand. i am an outcast. everyone knows. where is the once happy and worried free me? lost. and nowhere to be found.

sad4evaz is back.