Myblog

2011-10-23T12:15:00.002+08:00

Do you know

1. I was the sole reason my family still exist till now?

2. How much it hurts when you ignore me?

3. I need you right now?

Wish you were by my side, mx

Bye. And you take care.

2009-03-28T21:32:00.003+08:00

what's right? what's wrong?
when is the right time to do right things?
why must everything be right? why, when, how, what...
just feel like i never things right.

i don't see the path ahead..

2009-03-21T21:19:00.001+08:00

ahhhh chu

and i sneezed.

2009-03-21T18:20:00.002+08:00

cycled out to compass point for lunch
ended up it rained so heavily that i got stuck at the car park
waited for the damn rain to stop
there goes my ice cream :(

such a "cold" day

2009-03-18T00:28:00.002+08:00

finally cleared the pile of lecture notes for year 3..
room looks more emptied now...
less nags from mum..

i am not serious about my life yet...
sighhh...

just who am i?

2009-02-24T22:01:00.001+08:00

i lost it..and i failed to notice
i deserve punishment for being so careless.
it just hurts.

2009-02-18T11:42:00.000+08:00

i got to believe in myself
i got to believe in you.

jiayou for both of us......

2009-02-17T22:18:00.004+08:00

恋におちて－Fall in Love－ (koi ni ochite)

Moshimo negai ga kanau nara If my wishes can be true, will you change my sighs
Toiki wo shiroi bara ni kaete To roses, whiter roses, decorate them for you
Aenai hi ni wa heyajuu ni kazarimashou Thinkin' 'bout you every night and find out where I am
Anata wo omoinagara I am not livin' in your heart

Darling, I want you aitakute Darling, I want you, need to be with you
Tokimeku koi ni kakedashi sou na no Can't keep myself still, my heart craves for your love
Maigo no you ni tachisukumu Just like a lost child, standing here alone
Watashi wo sugu ni todoketakute By your side I want to be, as soon as it can be

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa Can't stop you, can't hold you, can't wait no more
I'm just woman
Fall in love

If my wishes can be true
Will you change my sighs
To roses, whiter roses
Decorate them for you
Thinkin' 'bout you every night
And find out where I am
I am not Livin' in your heart

Darling, I need you dou shite mo Darling, I need you, helpless I feel
Kuchi ni dasenai negai ga aru no yo Deep inside I have a wish never to be sad
Doyou no yoru to nichiyou no Want you, I need you, stay by my side
Anata ga itsumo hoshii kara Weekends won't go by without you on my mind

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa Can't stop you, can't hold you, can't wait no more
I'm just woman
Fall in love

Darling, you love me ima sugu ni Darling, you love me, can't wait to hear
Anata no koe ga kikitaku naru no yo Your voice and your words, need it now no later
Riyote de hoho wo osaete mo Nights that I spend alone, thinking 'bout you here
Tohou ni kureru yoru ga kirai Peace is not with me, don't know what to do

Daiyaru mawashite te wo tometa Can't stop you, can't hold you, can't wait no more
I'm just woman
Fall in love
I'm just woman
Fall in love

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know it's not time to be emo, especially during exam period
but still i am saying a prayer
praying you will be alright.

i shall keep quiet...i shall not talk

2009-02-15T23:48:00.003+08:00

i had a wonderful valentine yesterday..
a day full of fun, laughter, surprises and tears from yawns..
it was both efforts to make that happened, definitely not my job.
just like it take 2 hands to clap..

wo men de lu shi ren kai wo men zhou chu lai de
simply love you :)

click below for more details
kidding~

2009-02-09T23:41:00.001+08:00

i am just NOT invisible

2009-01-25T22:56:00.002+08:00

i said i don't want to see you sad, but it was who had made you feeling hurt and sad
this time round i am really really guilty.
i give myself slaps for being stupid..
i know what you don't like me to do, but yet i keep raising my voice
but i want to let you know that i wasn't angry or anything..it's the way i am brought up
i just tend to speak louder..if there's what you don't like, i am willing to make changes
after all i am not good, nope to be exact bad..

in the first place i should be happy and contented.

i had learnt that "if you yourself are not happy, how can you bring happiness to others? to those you love?"
omg i am just so so wrong in the first place..
no doubt...

i just want to let you know i am deeply sorry for what i had done..
hopefully you will accept this apology..

2009-01-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

time is what i need, so do you.
be strong, no matter what will happen
how do you throw away silly thoughts when they keep wondering inside your mind?

i really don't want to see you sad.

2008-12-31T01:35:00.000+08:00

freeze yourself in a moment, at the best of your life. Have things never change

i guess this will be the final post of 2008 yah?

2008-12-21T23:54:00.001+08:00

such a wonderful day i had
hope time can stay there.
it's as though the problems were gone
had been quite a while since i felt that way
hooray :D

2008-12-20T15:11:00.004+08:00

if someone who knows me ask me
what's the differences few months before and now?
i would answer nothing much

final year project had been a headache.
meeting up everyday in the first week of holiday
where's the mood for christmas?
i THOUGHT this year christmas may be different? hmmm...?
guess not...? blah

2008-12-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

just follow your heart........

2008-12-13T01:42:00.003+08:00

When the sweetest chocolate can't satisfy cravings for sweetness.....

everything look "good" on the outside, yet people failed to notice or pay notice to the content..
i may be right for some reasons, i may be wrong in some ways.
each person got it's own reasons for protecting something they think it's worthy of protecting.
But my reasoning may just be so wrong..so wrong that if i tell anyone, others will say "gary, ni cuo le.."

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..used to lyrics to a nice song, if you are happy
but now it had totally reversed, even when i dream, i think of this word..how horrible
perhaps you could tell me, or you are the only one in the world you could answer me..

i got the answer of my own.
i am scared of taking the wrong step.

-the end-

2008-12-06T15:14:00.002+08:00

who don't like surprises in this world?
what's the right timing for everything?

跟你抱着未等于爱上
不再抱着未等于不想
你我在这分钟
说过无缘再见
下秒钟再凑巧碰上即使一起貌合却又神离
分隔两地日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好
爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间爱情的定数

一个过活恨抱着情人
一对过活又挂念谁人
到了话要分开
你我尚有恻隐
又再探听对方新闻

2008-11-23T22:39:00.003+08:00

暧昧.. 比好朋友再亲一点，但比情人远一点。
暧昧是，你会常常在qq等她在线。当她几天没有在线，你就会有些担心。
暧昧是，你会不时去她的资料看看有没有更新；而且你会留意字里行间，他对你有没有什么暗示。
暧昧是, 有感觉，然而，这种感觉不足以叫你们切切实实地发展一段正式的关系。
暧昧是, 明白人生有太多的无奈，现实有太多的限制。你知道没有可能，但又舍不得放手。
暧昧是, 有进一步的冲动，却没有进一步的勇气。暧昧是，她不是你的情人，但似乎你比她的情人更关心她和了解她。
暧昧是，她会编一条围巾给你，但大家从没有开始过。
暧昧是，虽然她不是你的情人，但你却会对她说：你对我是十分重要的。
暧昧是，她感冒时你有一个会在晚上打电话特意提醒她服药，叫她盖好被子早点睡的普通朋友。
暧昧是，当她遇到问题解决不了的时候，她找不到她的男/女朋友，她第一个便会想起你。
暧昧是，每当她提及她的另一半时，你会万箭穿心。
暧昧是, 为了逃避背叛的罪恶感。暧昧是, 甜津津又同时酸溜溜的。往往从未开始，已叫人不安，患得患失。
暧昧是，别人以为你们在搞地下情时，你会沾沾自喜。
暧昧是，别人问你们是否恋爱中，你张口结舌。
暧昧是，常常挣扎表不表白。你怕表白之后，你既得不到一个情人，却又失去了一个知心好友。
暧昧是，见到她，你会心跳。见不到她时，你会挂念他。
暧昧是，两个人都会互相猜想。她是不是已经暗示了什么？我是不是自作多情？
暧昧是，每天大家都会聊qq，会互传手机短讯，无规律地煲着电话粥。
暧昧是，你很想多走一步，但又怕会吓怕了她。你会很小心流露自己的感情。
暧昧是，两个人没有承诺过什么。但虽然如此，你愿意付出的，比有承诺的情侣更多。没有责任，但你却很渴望去承担，不问回报。
暧昧, 是一扇门，你可以停留在门外，也可以踏进房子里面。然后你不可以停留在门下面。门--永远不是终点站

2008-11-13T22:01:00.001+08:00

I am ****ing useless

2008-11-11T21:23:00.003+08:00

life isn't getting happier these days
could it be my fault?

2008-11-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

自悲　＋　敏感　= SAD

2008-10-31T21:01:00.003+08:00

this is not what i thought initially.
i thought there won't be problems, no more worries, no more emo-ing now
but it was the opposite way...
i see, i sense problems coming up..
and i began worrying what i did was all correct.

often, i gave people attitude, oh yes, it may sound zhuai, but i seriously mean no harm
to my mum, to my friends, to close ones..
i must say thank you to everyone.
after all, i am NOT a perfect friend or ideal boyfriend either.
i am neither here nor there...
and i learnt that sorry isn't everything, something just can't be forgiven
like how attitude i had talked, yet i received unexpected reply from you.
you got the wrong answer

There are so many things i do not know about you, and you do not me about me.
and i have yet to discover them all.
wondering here if i were to be given the privilege to do so?

It's all a domino effect
lost about how to be perfect
worried about the different views , and how outsiders' eyes sees
tired from work, getting irritated at work

i rushed home today, feeling hungry and disappointed..
the lack of sleep, coming home late every night, late dinner
the side effect of carrying heavy stuffs - backache
these are the untold stories
i am not superman, yes i know............
but i never complain once, because i feel it was worth while
though i was tired outside, i was smiling inside.

my smart colleagues saw something wrong about me right in the morning..
am i bad at hiding stuffs?

so please let me stay at home and what i had done previous. Let me reflect and hopefully be a better man, is that alright?

i don't know how to continue...teach me how

2008-10-30T23:02:00.004+08:00

as i move along, i realise
differences the through work you do how?

holding back..holding back in whatever i do...
even my emotions...

i always feel i could do better than this...

2008-10-19T13:43:00.002+08:00

有感情就会一生一世吗,又再婉惜有用吗
爱的人没有一生一世吗,大概不需要害怕

2008-09-26T22:46:00.004+08:00

it seems things only got worsen after days of cool down. It didnt seems to help at all. i just couldnt understand myself and others. Were i right in the first place? as in.........i thought of writting down everything, every thougth i made, but i guess i failed and all of them are gone by then.

in the streets, i see and i think. but i wasn't thinking what i should be thinking, but something else. blame me for being so ignorant. I didnt expect what is happening to happened between two, three, four five whatever...us.

i guess i will not step forward, but backward if one understands.
time will tell whether it's right or wrong.
If someday, I were to be ignorant, it would be i had chose the wrong choice. But despite it's wrong, it may be good in one way.
for now i have little or no feelings.

and i wish everyone is doing well for attachment.

2008-09-17T14:31:00.004+08:00

Upon arrival, we asked for directions to go back to Tuen mun. It was a smooth ride back home, switching from airport bus to light rail home. We were initially too tired to go out, however we don't want to waste the precious times before work start. So, after dinner, we went to the Tuen mun park to see show James how hong kong people celebrate mid cake festival. We walked around the Tuen Mun central, trying to look out for local delicacy. However we ended up failing and i promise to James we will eventually got the chance to try them out tomorrow.

The next day we settled out to pass some stuffs to my relatives. I showed James around the neighbourhood i used to live in. However I couldn't showed him inside the house because it was sold. We had a great and fulling lunch of roasted food with plenty of rice. =) Next we took a mini van to the most popular place in Hong Kong - Mongkok. We walked along the ladies street in the afternoon. The weather on the first few days were real hot, much hotter than Singapore. I was told it was one of the hottest mooncake festival in these years. James were pirspiring all day long. We walked the whole stretch of shops, but we couldn't get any stuffs. The shopping experience was ruined

Today i was briefed the on the delivery note and how it can be used to be inputted into the Direct Receipt in Receive. The delivery note will show whether the products returned back to the warehouse is damaged (to be throw away), used to be a display set (probably for a season), to be stored in warehouse or could be resale. The KWMS system need to be updated. for example, a display set was purchased by a customer, and the outlet had to arrange for delivery back to the warehouse to arrange for transport for home delivery.

Next part is scheduling the home delivery for the next day (home delivery is done on sat to sun), and also store replenishment. each delivery order note had to be checked and telly with the document in excel. After which the information is extracted to formed a actual delivery order for each day. This is similar to what I can studied in transport management, scheduling plan is done to optimise the 2 trucks available( with each can hold up to 8 - 10 pallets). Delivery plan is done base on the location of the customers, and some may have special requirements on timing. Possible problems may include customers, not noticed about the delivery time, sudden change of delivery time by them, not picking up calls /voice mail.

Planner will have to make sure that products are to be delivered within morning (1000-1500) or afternoon (1500-2000). Any other special case will be noted down too. A tedious translation of the address from English to Chinese had to be completed after that since the team of drivers may not be able to understand English and may have problem locating the location. Upon completion, it will be send to the planner team, which will call up the customers to reconfirm the address as well as timing.

When customers are not there to receive the goods, a short notice will be pasted on the door, stating that no one was available for that sales order number X. A number will be provided to schedule for redelivery arrangement.

2008-07-27T01:40:00.003+08:00

THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

2008-07-26T23:19:00.006+08:00

陈奕迅- 淘汰

我说了所有的谎
你却都相信
简单的我爱你
你却老不信
你书里的剧情
我不想上演
因为我喜欢喜剧收尾

我试过完美放弃
的确很踏实
醒来了梦散了
你我都走散了

情歌的词何必押韵
就算我是K歌之王
也不见得把爱情唱得完美

只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆没有皱折
你却用离开淌下句点

只能说我认了
你的不安得到的信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰

我试过完美放弃
的确很踏实
醒来了梦散了
你我都走散了

情歌的词何必押韵
就算我是K歌之王
也不见得把爱情唱得完美

只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆没有皱褶
你却用离开淌下句点
只能说我认了
你的不安得到的信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰

2008-07-17T02:20:00.000+08:00

isnt things cleared enough to see?
are you blind?

2008-07-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

assumptions are killing me. can't help but assume a lot of things these days.
and i dare not voice out.....

could it be something good? (thinking too much)
or just me thinking too much

whatever it is, it wont stop me thinking.

2008-07-14T03:27:00.003+08:00

what am i doing it's 3am! and school later!
i just couldn't find the answer..the answer i wanted to know
after so long..=.=

ran 2.4km, stadium was packed..people in hougang like to run too?
amazing fast for me....10.23s
surprised why so much of improvement? compared to >11min
it was all about unhealthy motivation...
each time u ran, lots of brain cells died.
but it was still a B after all....

in this accident, i crash on you, and boom i die
another case
both crash on each other, what will happen? both die?
-unknown mystery-

2008-07-13T13:51:00.002+08:00

i had a great day going out with my classmates and year friends on thursday. Never had i been so happy and high since the last sad incident happened. it was supposed to be a post celebration, but it ended up to be a shopping trip.

ps: recently everyone's keeping their secrets..so should i. don't complain it's too short.

2008-07-08T00:24:00.003+08:00

first of all happy 21th birthday to myself..
yea..though it may be really that happy
but i am happy to have survived 21 years in this world..and this counting on..

i don't know what will happen to next year's birthday
but....time for wishes

secondly time for secrets...
buais!

2008-07-06T23:13:00.001+08:00

At here, i got to thanks steph, jj, weiming for the fun outing..
cant wait to receive the photos we took
love and thank you for the fun today :)

At there, i got some serious business to do.

2008-06-29T01:05:00.002+08:00

recently troubled by the groupings of final year project
and i seems to have difficulty forming a proper group the way i wanted
no one wants to be with me..
oh loner..
i just feel that i had been dragging people to move on
may be you just deserve a better group/some one else?
it's not necessary to be with me anyway
and here i am putting blame on myself.

and yesterday i was regretting things i should have done and yet i didnt
maybe i could be a better man then
was upset by tiny little stuffs...one failed to notice
i had made up my mind, though it was a decision made long ago
i was pondering whether to do it, or not, but guess now i had got the answer
i had gained something in this week, especially in human relationship

knowing napfa test in just in one week's time
i am gonna prove to people I CAN DO IT, IF I WANT TO
but first is quality management test..
shuacks...too much topics to study
tell me how to play, enjoy and study at the same time?

mid-sem test results as follows:
lpcs: 38.5/50
lome: 45/40
tm: 42.5/50
bus cal: 40.5/50

should be glad i pass my cal, knowing that i was freaking careless in doing the past year paper and for that particular day. should have done better, but i am just glad. because i know my standard for Amaths =x
maybe thinking about the results would make me a happier person

2008-06-23T22:42:00.004+08:00

got back lpcs today..did pretty alright...got a B+
never had been so frightened to receive back test paper for long
and 3 papers more to receive this week..

first time it's always so memorable...
and i am still thinking about that event
oh come on, let it be gone...

the first time i saw you
the first time you talked to me
the first time you hold my hands
the first time we say goodbye, knowing we may not see each other
the first time for everything, and also will be the LAST time

i woke up and it was just a dream.
yea right

2008-06-21T15:13:00.003+08:00

yesterday..a day of mixed feelings..
for that moment i hope time would freeze...
it was certainly enjoyable
to others it may be normal, but definitely not to me
i am just a big kid after all, or whatever...

but it's time to wake up
yet i haven't, not yet...
it's like i have fallen into this trip
i know i shouldn't have, but couldn't help it..
and now i am struggling to climb up
couldn't stop thinking at things i should not think

just what kind of guy i am?

the world i am at does not suit me
or i am not ready yet

may be i just deserved it.

2008-06-19T01:24:00.001+08:00

My personalDNA Report

2008-06-17T01:23:00.000+08:00

tell me whats wrong?
i can somehow feel something is happening...
is as though i am totally lost, and not myself?
am i just too tired or what?

please stop it.

2008-06-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

excuses..i keep telling myself tons of excuses

2008-06-07T03:31:00.001+08:00

haiiiii

2008-06-06T00:39:00.004+08:00

tomorrow's last paper..
business calculus...can't believe i am touching Amaths after o level
thought i could finally shake it off.
in the end..i took this module..dotted...

today's lpcs (logistics planning and control system?) was really horrible
maybe for a lot of people too
well just hope i can get some sympathy marks out of my crap :)
i shall believe myself in a little more

the good personality of yours has somehow turned into my worries..
doncha know?
i like it, and hate it too..

things dont turn out as what i thought..
and it's plain disappointing...
i am just another ordinary person, who like surprises

i am careless and reckless in everything i do, especially in my life
making countless of careless mistakes in calculus
oh please let me have a clear mind tomorrow
thanks in advance~

2008-06-03T01:24:00.000+08:00

if you cant face yourself, how are you going to face others?

2008-06-01T02:39:00.001+08:00

where's the motivation?
awwwww.......

i think of wrong things at the wrong time

2008-05-29T00:14:00.004+08:00

the day which the whole world is against me
the weather is still so hot, so am i...

the night so starry after the shower today
it makes me think of what you are doing at this moment
can i just say how much i miss you?
do you still remember the story of moon and star
*shakes head*

no it's too late
things will change eventually
nothing last forever
then why not my character?

i ask myself one question " why are you angry?"
i have the answer in mind...but it had sank into my bottom of the ocean
just go to hell gary....i am fucking serious
you useless piece of shit..
people cherish life and you dont
and anyway you are going to die young
so dying a bit younger may be a contribution to the society

2008-05-28T01:57:00.003+08:00

I DONT KNOW WHY I AM SO ANGRY
BUT WHATEVER I DO WILL BE WRONG
WHETHER I DO IT OR NOT, I WILL BE WRONG
WHETHER I TELL YOU OR NOT, I WILL BE WRONG
I REALLY DONT GIVE A DAMN AT THIS POINT OF TIME
NOW I KNOW HOW IRRITATED I AM
AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME
I HATE WHAT I AM NOW

2008-05-26T01:03:00.003+08:00

i am just worried how much i can achieve within this one month's time
thought of napfa's killing me really...
i am scared, scare of failing the pull up station..
a weak person will never grow.......
i shall just give in my best shot
and let 老天爷爷 decides the rest for me...

if failing is my path to success..
i wont mind learning the hard way :)

but first i got to handle the mid sem test
i got a feeling i will study hard for this
if i cant handle the mid sem test well,
how am i going to make it in the main examination?
this mid sem test is just gonna make me a warm up
just wait and see.

平常心，　要以平常心对待。。。。。

2008-05-21T22:33:00.002+08:00

why am i such a loner at times?
it's not that i don't want to do certain things
it's just the timing's not right..

but no one understands me...
there's just too many considerations before i do each stuff

i had miss out many fun in life
thats why my life is colourless

2008-05-21T02:16:00.003+08:00

i look at myself
and can only say shittt..

so what keeps me going in life?
i am such a simple person
yet so complicated...

i keep complaining about this and that
such a loser..
you just don't know how much effort others have put in

me...so hopeless :)

2008-05-20T00:31:00.001+08:00

i dont know how to continue my story
desperately need someone, you, to help me....
are you willing to?

2008-05-18T01:58:00.002+08:00

i guess it's time to serious about life now
which means i would be doing more serious things
and also less time to online (i know i always appear offline)

and i need lots of motivation...lots..
i need to excerise more often
rather than sitting in front of the computer table
and started wasting my time away
i am NOT going to...

2008-05-16T22:49:00.005+08:00

seeing other people makes me sad...
sad because of seeing what others are capable of people
but happy because the other party is happy
why am i not capable of doing it?

i have always thought of what to do, but i just never do it.
and everytime i thought of doing that, it shall fail
i crapped...if only i dare to.

people are always looking for sweet guys..
well if so then i am definitely not a sweet one
may be i just haven't reach that stage yet lahs
or may be i won't do it even if it happens

i have always wanted to..but i guess because i hate myself for a particular reason
and so i hide.......

forgive me....
rahhh

touched by those rescue scenes at television on the china earthquake
people crying their hearts out..one of the more memorable one were when a 3 yr old girl was interviewed about the whereabout of her mum.
"she's dead," she said.
is it just too tough for this little girl to accept?
she may be young, but very dong shi..yupps

a lady had to saw her own legs, because the rescue team couldn't enter the small gap
well i know this is just be the bing shan yi jiao...
but it's just too saddening
though the death toll may be lesser than Myanmar cyclone disaster...
human beings...sometimes there's just too little things we can do to help.
so fragile...it reminds me of the show i watch about the 911 incident..
how people struggle to survive.

guess i must learn how to appreciate every little thing in life
and treasure people i like and love :)

may those who dead in both china earth quake and Myanmar cyclone rest in peace

2008-05-12T01:04:00.002+08:00

noticed certain things ain't necessary...
i got to tell myself this..

i am going to fail people who have hopes on me
in one way or another
and the saying goes " strike the iron while it's hot"
well it's not that hot after all now....
things are starting to cool...
blow blow blow....

finally.

2008-05-08T23:18:00.005+08:00

the truth started to surface itself.
i had notice myself....

i am just a goner now...

i treat though it had already happened
prepared for the worse that can happen
but in fact it hasn't
how prepared i am.....
how pessimistic.

in the end,
what was i ultimately looking for?
is this what i want to get?
or may be i am just one sort of an attention seeker?

he/she/it reminds me of what i used to have, and suddenly one day it just lost and gone
but how can i treat he/she/it as the same type? he/she/it is not..in fact better..
then why i start to compare? history and present, present and history...i got it all mixed
since they are somehow alike?

i didnt mean it, really....
trust me

how i admire people with great goals.

cheers to my bloggg....

2008-05-06T18:39:00.004+08:00

i found out being sad is the only way to motivate me to work...
but being sad is not good for health
so question comes. keep it? or drop it?
lets keep it going for the time being....

whenever i am down, i began to say non sense, i began to think do doing stupid things..
so please pardon me my friends...i couldn't help it.
my brain's playing tricks on me again..

i don't mean to be lazy...i don't mean not to do my work...
it's just i don't understand!!!!
i need to vent my anger on something, anything that would make me feel better
this is the point which turns someone into devil...

i don't even dare to face myself, so how am i going to face others? and everyone else?
i couldn't believe i am losing control once again................
please end my torture...

he doesn't know, he couldn't think a little more of me...
as always being the weak one...
thats why i receive more than you
he just don't understand how envy the little boy is..
he wishes he was better...probably you are his idol...

at the point of breaking down, but it's too early...

END

2008-05-05T23:24:00.009+08:00

feeling glum these days...not too happy, but quite sad
someone said this to me today "if i were you, i won't come for lectures"
i have no idea whats on that person's mind...
is he trying to hint to me something..
and then he triggered my thoughts
my current thought is "loser got no face to face others, especially to the winner"
could this be true? am i too imaginative?

i noticed this semester would be a real suffer
i cant wait for it to end...
i am just too bothered by other stuffs, that are distracting me
shit la~~focus.....stay focus

it feels good to walk alone under the starry night
i'm loving it

i know i wouldn't say the truth in front of you......
because i am afraid...afraid of loneliness, afraid to lose, and become yi wu suo you again
i just hope things stay as it is
you are happy, you will be..definitely....i have faith in you
i don't really care whether i am happy or sad
because i care about you
chances don't come by easily, but i remembered what you said one fine day
you never noticed how much i remembered
all i have to do now it to wait...to wait till everything is gone
i know sooner i will be fine again...i will get it over, eventually...
others will say i am a stupid fool, i will just nod in agreement
wo bu pei mahhhsss............
differentiating from a friend, foe, lover...just to tough for my current standard...

whew...finally done
leave me alone to hear/see anything anymorei found out being sad is the only way to motivate me to work...

2008-04-29T22:40:00.004+08:00

干嘛想那么多。。。
现在开心不就很好不是吗？

做人做到像我想法那么复杂真的不好
简单就是美。

我就是连琐碎的东西都挂在心里头
烦死了。。。。

自从老爸走了，　家里只剩我跟妈
家里便得好冷清
喔。。。

闷闷不乐的我上

2008-04-28T00:45:00.002+08:00

am i destined to be a all time loser?
i am glad even if i lost...for it did happen

haii...
i wish happy moments can last and stay forever..

i am not looking towards school......
modules are so tough..i dont get a word of whats going on
totally lost motivation...
what to do?
wish someone were there to guide me, to "du chu" me...
or at least to scold and really wake up me

i woke up from a dream today...
feeling terrible after that
though i cant really remember what it was now
it was such a sad dream
if i were not wrong...my favourite primary school teacher scolded me badly for not doing homework..she refused to listen to me...and i felt so helpless...

i am just not trying hard enough

2008-04-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

can i just say that god is making a fool out of me?
i don't want to console myself anymore with "god has it's plan for me"

as people become more emotionally stable,
i become more emotionally unstable
*rolling on floor laughing* ha...

this beginning of this semester had been horrible...
the modules, the new class, the unforeseen circumstances...
what will the future be?

i dare not think...
because history keeps repeating itself
people come and people go...

i had seen enough
and i am actually not as good as what others think
how others react often depends on myself....
i guess i understand why i ended up in misery

why cant i just be more gentleman...TSKKK..

2008-04-16T23:42:00.002+08:00

certain things seemed to have changed ever since i came home...
this holiday definitely will bring memories..yea..a lot too!
there's many of first time..shan't mention much
and i finally get to know the meaning of "ching ming jie"

i shall give myself plenty of sleep before school starts next week
this almost 2 months of holiday...i couldnt bear to let it go
the fun, joy, laughter
the sorrow was totally gone when i was having a good time with my good friends
totally feel like a different person
if only time could freeze at that time
right now i shall say see you soon and work hard for me
yea riggghhhttt

feeling down down down

2008-03-27T20:10:00.002+08:00

i had been attending to other people's wedding/birthday dinner this few days...so far i managed to sneak in without any inviation. yesterday i attend my aunt's relatives birthday dinner...and it was super embarrassing lahs...gosh..i went in, and i overheard someone said " ehs who's this guy?" my god..i wish i got a hole to hide myself...hahas..probably it's because it's a small dinner compared to a wedding one and so i were more noticable. and i had one more free dinner to attend this sunday...this should be the last bahs i guess...

today's my popo's birthday...so happy birthday to her! wish her good health? i guess? and today she finally revealed what she had been wishing for...to get my cousin out of china, with the help of me...i was "stunned" at that very moment. but i already had knew one fine day i would know this. i wasn't really prepared lahs...it's something i wouldnt want to talk about anymore...something which would totoally affect the future...probably i think too highly of myself...but...........

to do a favour for others..i actually wouldn't mind. however this kind of stuff, i am not too sure how to handle lehs...it reminds me of the future....hrmmm..i suddenly wish i can time travel to 10 years later...to see myself...

also talked about my dad going to canada to work in may...i feel kind of sad that the family won't be "together" during that period...and it's canada..so far..and thinking that he won't be back in near future... awww...and i said to myself i am sure gonna cry if i were 10 years back....but now i won't...the most just sad loh...since i am sad4evaz (:

2008-03-23T19:01:00.001+08:00

hiiii...for those who don't know, i am here blogging in china hehe
but i cant access my blog here...why ehs? =/

today just attend a wedding here...it's like wow
and i see alot of nice nice cars...omg...

alright i got to go

2008-03-17T00:18:00.003+08:00

let me see you in dreams kaeS?
hopefully by then all my worries will go away
i am pretty vexed now...

shucks it's the second time i lost my ear piece..
SE and now nokia....
why am i so careless?
too careful till i become careless...
in everything i do

i shall appreciate what i have now
though i often wish for more, a lot more...
life is a guessing game,
if you are lucky, you find what you want.
then what happen to the unlucky ones?

how i wish i were for lucky in everything i do..haha
tell me what to do

2008-03-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

i guess..
i got to watch out for what i say because i believe my words may have hurt others, unknowingly
oh yes...i am very affected by what others say about me...

after going to smu for the career talk, it makes me think whether i am in the right field..a challenging and competitive field.

i always said i had thought over it..but actually not, i keep thinking about it. and this is not doing me anything good.

i probably need a drink.
and i hate to see myself....

2008-03-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

i saw someone unexpectedly at amk while on the bus to old turf city....but why was i so thrilled to see her? i couldn't even wait to call this person. anyone can tell me why? i don't understand...if it's normal friend, then may be you will just say "orhs".

may be god has an answer himself

forget about this and lets talk about today..the mixed feelings day
and then just when i asked myself today what will happened if i see her again, just how would i feel? the answer was pretty clear...it was really surprisingly...so surprising that i wouldnt control my excitement. never mind about this...i am not going to "do" anything about it anyway...shucks..

the saddening part was that i realised my past actions had became that meaningless that you had totally forgotten? i am really saddened to real that. what you think it's valuable and precious were actually a piece of shit memory. may be you intentionally remove it, or your brain think that it's useless data to be deleted. i do not know.

results were out at last, rejoice and be glad in it. at least gary
DCM B
Comm skill B
MAF B+
MM B+
UIR Z

so what? results ain't that important? then what's important to me? i had an answer in mind........
some people are happy with their results, some don't. i see people smile and others sad...a friend failing his traffic police test.

it's sometimes hard to hide sadness and pretend nothing had happened and you heck.
and i dont know how to handle life.

2008-03-11T23:01:00.005+08:00

the unofficial room of mine =/

how's the view outside? hehe

the ke ting

ke ting's view =)

it's such a shagged day after driving for out for about 16 hrs! i really did make almost full use ehs? hahas..went to alot of places...holy temptations..tsk..

have to go back to tp..gosh..results could be out anytime tomorrow..i supposed those who subscribed for the sms result service to receive earlier than the official one posting on the web. hopefully it won't spoil the day lahs...

who's the person whom i see when the second i closed my eyes?

2008-03-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

found some touching chinese phrases...wow..
personal favourite is number 2...lolx

01.沒有一百分的另一半，只有五十分的兩個人。

02.付出真心，才會得到真心，卻也可能傷得徹底；

以為保持距離，或許就能保護自己，卻也註定永遠孤寂。

03.通常願意留下來跟你爭吵的人，才是真正愛你的人。

04.有時候，不是對方不在乎你，而是你把對方看得太重要。

05.冷漠，有時候並不是無情，只是一種避免被傷害的防衛工具。

06.如果我們之間有1000步的距離，你只要跨出第1步，

我就會朝你的方向，走其餘的999步。

07.為你的難過而快樂的，是敵人；為你的快樂而快樂的，是朋友；
為你的難過而難過的，就是那些你該放進心裡的人。

08.就算是believe(信任)，中間也藏了一個lie(謊言)。

09.真正的好朋友，並不是在一起就有聊不完的話題；
而是在一起，就算不說話，也不會感到尷尬。

10.朋友就是把你看透了，還能喜歡你的人。

i shall post new photos of my new house in fernvale, sengkang soon

2008-03-07T18:19:00.000+08:00

i realised i am nothing, how insignicant i am today.

2008-03-06T11:43:00.002+08:00

recently i was told that....
certain people can be your group mates, but not soul mates
worse still certain people can only be friends, but not couple
or may be only enemies but not friends.

i am going to miss the travel fair because i will be going back to china and hong kong with my parents.
tickets it's booked~
which means less money for me!!!
but i will be staying till mid april, resting in china
the hk trip had been cancel...hrmmm..

2008-03-04T22:44:00.003+08:00

so the 3 days of natas at office is officially over.
finally lah..my first thought was that i am definitely not going back there!
surviving the 3 days had been tough, especially on saturday, i was so sick and tired
that i couldn't wait to go home to rest immediately..
i did it eventually, resting, slacking....

the last day was really lol
everyone's so slack...we ended up playing big2.5 on viwawa
using 4 computers, in a row in the call centre..
and that's something to be remembered....
the fun and the laughter we had, fortunately, no tears :) heh

there are too many things i want to do during this holiday
going to swimming...watching my drama...
and i had just completed my heroes season 2...yay~
i had yet to pack my lecture notes and prepare myself for the third and final year
both mentally and physically..OMG...

and guess what i am going back to work once again, back at chan brothers...
it's kind of boring...very i guess
but still it's better than staying at home
though i have yet to complete all my tasks above.

If i am happy, then i am not myself.

2008-02-26T20:41:00.002+08:00

exam's over..yatta!

unforunately i fell sick, immediately, or no during the examination.
i am kind of worried about this semester's resulting.
knowing good grades won't come by, unless you tried.
and i did really try my best for mm paper i guess
so.....
no more regrets.

holiday started with me jobless..
oh man...things are packed this week, going back to call centre to work for friday to saturday.
at least it's better than in the fair ground isn't it?
after natas i will be jobless~
ohhhhhhh...

you said that once, so i don't need you to tell me directly.
certain things are just not meant to be told..

2008-02-17T01:22:00.002+08:00

and so i supposed i am okay? recently less cough and less chest pain
a pretty good sign
i did my ct scan on thursday, have to fast 4 hrs before the scan
less than 2 minutes and it cost me $195
o.O

junior year ended on friday..wow
next semester i am senior
oh fly really flyyyyyys

had pizza outside school
after which we have our blackjack marathon
wow...from 12+ to 6+
i think i am nuts...
and so it's everybody else who stayed.
lols..

went to bugis after that
dinner at fish n co
last time to see zhiwei, he gone to shenzhen for his attachment
wow
makes me wonder what my SIP will be?

anyway less than 1 week till exam
recently feeling VERY demoralised by results and etc...

it hurts when you are thinking yourself a person you shouldn't be
EMO-ED
she looked and turned away...what else do you expect?
it's the study week...how am i going to spend it wisely?

all i know it's my mind is not thinking of studies at this moment.
but someone else....

buaiz

2008-01-31T23:17:00.000+08:00

1 feb 07, one year ago, the day which i passed my traffic police test. and one year's later tomorrow i am going to hospital for further examination. anyway should just congratulate myself soon, driving license one year anniversary.

okay i am just going to be fine right?
hopefully all doubts will be clarified on the spot.
and then........
no more worries :)

and i really want to see her real soon.
tatas

2008-01-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

i am just so so worried about my health now.
had a x-ray today.
doctor said there wasn't a pneumothorax, but found something else - a secret
went home and check online what it was all about.
i found horrible stuffs
started shivering
eventually i guess i found the wrong information
but still i don't know what's the problem till i go hospital for a detailed check
appointment dates not set
i felt terribly sorry, i guess i won't have the mood to go anywhere
just hope i will be fine this time
it shouldn't be a problem :)

2007-12-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

attended the first ever class gathering for primary 6A =))
i am just too happy after not seeing them for so long lahs..well the attendance rate should have been better, and more fun with more people. started with a lunch at Swensen at j8..
and i was hoping for another gathering real soon..

and the small bunch of us watch national treasure together :)
the depressed i had these few days got away:)
must give a special thank to jovena for organising this
thanks to all that came today~~~~

2007-12-24T19:13:00.000+08:00

christmas is supposed to be a joyful one. however i don't feel the joy and can't help it by turning into a emo one. i don't want to go out, especially with the big crowd out there. i don't want to see what i don't like to see.

and this shall be my christmas day.

2007-12-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

he cried because of a quarrel that all started from a 50cents...
it wasn't the amount that he cared, but that he don't understand why his brother had to act that way..*sniff* and it was supposed to be a happy occasion because his brother was back after such a long time. he felt useless and he didn't have the courage to voice out to his brother he was wrong.. he felt really useless as his little brother..

*sniff sniff*

i suddenly want to talk to alot of people..and i seriously miss them..
i checked in msn, you weren't there..
i dare not trust my feelings, trust my instinct.
i do not know whether this is love
but i do know at this point of time the first person i could think of was you.
unknown > hi-bye friend > close friend > ????

what it will lead to?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
friday. the day i got to know something about another guy. why should i even think? i mean who didn't have a past? or bad experience or rejection? for one moment i wonder whether this guy was serious or not. though i wanted to see, i dare not see.. i wish just this guy will do a good job..

it was also a day of sweat playing badminton with my classmates for the first girl... woww... muscle pain.. butt too .. it had been so long since i last excerise....may be i should do sports more often these days..

feel much better =]

2007-11-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

the meeting of my eye candy really did cheer me up for the first half of the day lahs..oh man..i actually miss the opportunity to sit with her! oh gosh how can i let that happened? hahas..i tend to look too much these days..tsk tsk..it was really an suprise to see lahs..i have been missing her since monday! alright kiddingz...that was my regret for the whole day lahs..

was told i was already sacked. the word 'sacked' sound like i made some serious stuffs. it was kind of expected in the beginning, after the peak seasons..and i still thought that i was able to work at least one more weekend before my mid semester starts..and now no more work..well it may be a good indication for me to concentrate on my studies now..indeed hor

and so i watched the kingdom with jasmine..not bad afterall..especially the ending part..was touched by the ending, in fact..hahas..next show should be tatooist? shrugs...too bloody. *shakes head*

badminton time tomorrow..wonder how a day it will be
bless me with lots of luck..in everything i do!!! =)))

2007-11-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

this few days i have been training myself, not to study, but to be a professional in 'tou lan ji'
diaos..i simply can't play better than my friend lah..
sian-half

and i know i got a report to hand in on this wednesday
what have i done?
reaseach only, nothing on the report yet

and i got to work on saturday
next week it's real busy day, with test, report
i hope i can survive lah

bleahs

2007-11-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

yayness~~
finally managed to watch Sugar and Spice..wooohooo
with my 2 primary school friend, zp and joyce..
ehs..main purpose was actually to see my idol erika (:
the show wasn't that bad lahs..thought it's abit 'chim'
some may find it a bit boring, but the sight of erika wakes one up.
and i simply love erika. hahas!

he believed and waited, but she didn't turn up in the end.
confused at the ending part, i shall watch the last part again at crunchyroll
it's definitely better to watch in the cinemas, the ambiance is there..
never regret watching it...

shopping around with joyce for her office attire
ended up empty handed after walking for so long
unexpectedly met shiqi and yvonne at far east.
total lost concentration after that...
suddenly nothing seems more important than trying to spot them again
a little bit sad. hah
joyce: if you are really fated, you shall meet them again
me: i don't want to see that face again (something i quoted from the movie)
me: *laughs*
and it didn't happen AGAIN

ehhhs...i thought i made it? feelings still in dilemma
i shall keep quiet even though i may like this 'someone'
because i don't know how long will it last.
shhhhhhhhhhhh....

done!

2007-11-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

it's amazing how certain people can brighten up your day.

i can only say i regret only seeing you enough
it's such a coincidence, such a long time since i last saw you
regretting because i didn't interact much with you
right now i feel like seeing you
i wish..

i wonder what's my mind.

2007-11-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

mood swing is over. thank goodness
i am a happier person now.

i should just appreciate life actually..
i must be less emotional

and i managed to grab my cotton candy outside library due to TPRAWKS
i can't remember when was the last time i got a cotton candy treat
definitely love it. hahas
made me thought of the cotton candy machine years ago at the neighbourhood market.
the 50cents DO IT YOUSELF (DIY) cotton candy machine!!! anyone seen one before?
the uncle that will help me make it because i often mess up. =xx
oh man...it's kind of shy to hold a cotton candy in your hand
thats why i haven't taste the sweetness for such a long time!
gonna miss it! =p

a surprisingly lunch with her today...it was okay! it seems years since that happened..no it was the first time we lunched alone together. no worry everything is fine..so is me! (i think)
actually nothing special lahs..just that i/we never touch on the sensitive topic..

guess what's my mind. tons of homework, when am i going to finish it? confirming my feelings
and i must say i noticed TODAY i am not fit to like a person
reason is simple... I can't figure out who/what i like

I AM NOT EMO LAHS *SMILE*
=DDDDD

auntie one cotton candy pls!

there it is...YUMYUM~~

2007-11-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

it's an super emo post!

for some unknown reasons i am going really sad these days..i really don't know why okay! i don't know who to approach to, to who to find and talk to..i don't know what's the problem and why. i just feel god damn sad..i keep frowning..i even show others my gloomy face. shit you gary

LET ME SCREAM ALL OUT!!!!!!!!!!

i can't find balance between work and study. and i am doing real bad this semester. scoring 10/30 for my DCM online quiz. i need to pull up my socks. you are so right..i am struggling so hard. and there you are complaining that you can't balance. it's just an excuse. what did you do when you have free time?! u played, watch tv, slack.. is this the way? you don't make use of time when you are free, and now you are grumbling these and that. what's the use!!!

while researching for my communication skills peer teaching, i came across this topic on self-esteem. oh yea i think i will score damn low for the quiz. i shall do it when i got the time...the more i research, the more i realised how weak of a person i am compared to people around my age. you must be thinking how shit i am now..

feelings just a complicated thing. what's happening to my brain i wonder...

money, something one can't live without. but is it really that important? it's a true fact that 'jiang qian shang gan ching'.

so many things/people troubling me. i want to escape all these..
peace is all i want

and i want to be 'ALONE' for now..till i clear my doubts..

2007-11-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

just as i thought i need not have to face the embarrassment that 'soon'..the nightmare arrive. to someone who doesn't care, he's seen as nothing..but to her, it's her love coming..aren't you jealous? this guy's good, caring, definitely better than the idiot. why so unattractive?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i wasn't really prepared..but i know this day will eventually come. alright...

watch the match between arsenal and man u with jj, james and his uncle..what an thrilling game! how ever i not only make a bid on arsenal, but about my future. dumb isn't it? totally sian half

is god trying to hint me that nothing will change despite how much you strive? it's just something you will never get..but no worry, you will still get, but something/someone less desirable. hah..what the heck am i thinking? =p

2007-11-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

lots of random thoughts these days

i have to give me and you more room
i shan't ask so much..isn't keeping quiet a good thing?
feelings, i am confused.
what's up in my mind?

you need not tell me nor hide it.
i already know
wishes you happy always. oh yes you are

what else?

if i am more normal, i will have ran up and tell you how i feel (:

thats all i guess...so boring

2007-10-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

i am starting to hide myself again..

i have so many things which i said i will do later. but when the later came, i refused to do them.
feeling it's already too late for things to be done.

i do not know what to blog again...

an boring entry

2007-10-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

holiday ended with a 5 day break..managed to meet out with my friends to did some shopping. rent a car and drove around singapore. getting lost during the peak hours. seeing ERP freaked me out because i drove in and out of the city 4 times. went to singapore polytechnic and have a meal there. but failed to see someone i wanted to see there...sad to say but i suddenly want to see how she is doing. who is she? i guess very few people know...hahas..i remembered she wanted me to drive her around? or could it be an illusion. anyway i feel luckily nothing serious happened. rejoice and be glad

the problem emerges, what happened to my polytechnic friends?

a shagged day working at the travel fair. the previous night caused to me have a serious lack of day. jun jie, weiming and me simply doze off early morning during the briefing at 8am. and we got to work like 12 hours minimum..i don't know how i did it eventually. but it ended with gastric lahs...have my lunch only and 3. and i gonna have to curse the one who stole my lunch..such an idiot who took without even asking? what the ****. what's the purpose to be so hardworking arhz?

so...

when will i see you again?

and...

i am making my days in the school miserable. it should be a happy thing to be look forward to. seeing friends again...

not prepared yet!

2007-10-10T11:24:00.000+08:00

i thought we were supposed to go out on sunday? sadly i failed to..i failed to take the initiative to ask. thats me. in the end i went to meet up with longyun working in amk hub for the past few days for dinner and drink. be glad! he's the first poly classmate i met ever since the holiday started. i wonder what happened to the rest. conclusion is i don't look for people. i check my handphone and wait for others to call me up. jie biao did come, but a bit too late. a fun night drinking but not getting drunk. it makes me feel good. anyway i got to know the truth about something lahs. though it was already expected. the feeling is totally different when someone tells you directly the truth though you know it inside your heart. and from that night onwards, i knew i had lost another game in life. game of love that is. this is not the first time i get this kind of reply. and people often say one thing and do another. just like.............i shall not blog about it.

everyone is selfish in this world..in some way or others

i don't mind being slower than others. really..
lagging behind doesn't mean you are not successful right?

now work for youself and not for others.
i need new motivation. thanks

2007-10-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

left with 2 more days before most of my friends are quitting their job, leaving behind me and weiming..sigh. gonna miss the fun we had working together. and everything shall become the past and memories. it was a day weiming and i were left behind in the call centre. what i did was nothing but receiving countless calls. boring. but this will be eventually be the days every other day on work. i got to get use to this loneliness. left with 2 more days before my dear friend will be going to mainland china for her studies. and i know i really don't have the time to talk to her like we used to be.

i dont even dare to think what will happen next week onwards..i really want feel like working anymore lahs..come on..

it was a wonderful night celebrating my primary school friend's birthday. a very sudden one in fact. managed to catch resident evil: exctinction ..nice show, though this morning i saw at tv mobile giving only 2 popcorns out for 5. who cares. as long as i like it. joyce seems to be freak out. she kept holding me and zp so tighly. i hand nearly turn blue. it's not suggested to watch any horror show with her because i am just freak out too, but because of the show itself, but by her reaction..lols...on the way back i saw an very old couple walking slowly..and they were so loving. the old lady was holding and guiding the old man with a walking stick. probably he had some eyesight problem or blind. but i really envy him, because he can feel one's love with his heart. an touching scene. for that moment i thought this is the life i want to have.

conclusion: life would be meaningless without you you and you :)
time to catch some sleep it's already 2am -_-||

2007-10-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

i was excited because i was able to sit near her..but when i thought of the remaining two days where i didn't know when i would ever see you again. things totally changed. sigh..the word 'fate' had been bothering me. i am beginning to be a 'little' sad again. i really treasure today, although it may be something insignificant, to me it is something worth thinking for. alright i know i am really thinking too much lahs..it's really unhealthy to be so..everyone has his/her angel..

i don't want to be addicted to any drugs. oh my god it's so scary after seeing someone did glue sniffing at the bus stop. i know if i am addicted then i would be really a goner. and super glue really stinks and it's gross..makes me want to vomit and headache by just thinking how disgusting that plastic bag filled with glue and water. just a puff and i would be going to 'heaven' oh yea..

i have a small wish right now.
let me just pray...

2007-10-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

and it seems i haven't finish cursing this he/she/it.

he/she it is such a bastard
you must never underestimate what his/her/its mind is thinking
don't ever be fool by his innocent look
or else he/she/it will take advantage of you
and bite you off

he/she/it make me realize there are such people in this world
an eye opener for me
i wish he/she/it knows how much i dislike him
*pout*

the world is real small isn't it? i never thought i will see this guy again outside of school...dotted...kind of shocked lah..shouldn't he be quite busy with the girl? lols shrugs.. anyway it didn't spoil my day much lahs..i was just thinking. thinking of something. bahh i am too tired anyway. working days getting more boring..for some reason i already have lost my motivation to work! oh gosh..i wish i have the chance to talk and know you more.. but time won't allow that to happen. and i am still fed up and the he/she/it's stupid attitude..someone still say he's cool..i really doubt so..if he's cool then i am 10times hotter and cooler than he/she/it. and please we are definitely not the same level. don't ever link me with he/she/it. it makes me sick.

one thing i know for sure.
he/she/it really sucks!!!!!!
okay it's enough..

thats all for today. oh yea forgetting to post some picture some people who want to see it. (you know who you are) =]

with credits to weiming and stephanie

my work desk!

2007-10-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

&%&*%&^^*(^))(*%&%^&^

i just cant stand she/he/it anymore lah.. Zzz..i know i got perceptual defense this she/he/it..i just dislike anything she/he/it. all i know is she/he/it sucks..booo..

i just feel like beating she/he/it up.

2007-09-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

at last the 2 days serving queues is over..made lots of mistakes..big or small..made me last to leave...i know i am slowww..and i know working isn't easy. so i don't think i am going to quit! the serious thing is i am so tense i still think of myself working and i will suddenly wake up saying something.. can't remember what i said though.

everyday i look at you. i think of you. blah blah
but i do know these days are getting shorter each day
i am just happy to be able to interact with you. yupps

2007-09-26T17:00:00.000+08:00

a boring mooncake festival, or should say i made it boring for being emotional? everything was kind of well-planned i thought, but it didn't seems to happen..ehs..working days turning horrible because i will be serving queues at the counter. gosh i was eventually trembling and i did something stupid by writing on the booking form instead of the booking system. hello it's not natas! =.= alright..my body was actually trembling..and i have totally forgotten what i have just learn. well let's take things slowly..you seems to be doing totally fine. i wonder how you actually do it..

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.
Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

2007-09-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

i have learn my lesson for getting drunk for no reasons. and now i sort of regret doing it. i shall remind myself to control myself. it's not really funny to get drunk and sleep inside the toilet. =xx what else. i got myself sore throat. probably i puke too much till my throat was sort of like infected. and despite all the antibiotics, now my throat still keep kind of uncomfortable. i wonder why..

i guess i was really fortunate to make good friends while working. people that i can joke and laugh with. i shall just enjoy the time working and have 'fun'. it really keeps you away from thinking too much. simply too tired to think anything else. but i do miss going out with my friends...sighs...

what's the point of having all the money when i am not happy? i seriously need to shop and spend my money...

and do you know i am always noticing you ? :|

2007-09-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

getting emo these days...help!

2007-09-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

managed to survive 2 days of natas fair at expo.
what is cheap labour to me?
working at 5.50per hr compared to those people with carry on their bag giving flyers at 10per hr.
x times the stress. have to be alert at all times or else you gonna pay
i did make a lot of mistakes here and there..but i just kept quiet.
was told there was commission. in the end, it seems there wasn't. i still hoping for a glimpse of hope since the word was said by the assistant gm/gm. have no idea.

the best thing was getting scolded by one of this ridiculous customer. just congratulate me alright. and only then i realised things had been piling up on me. and i am just actually putting my problems aside. sunday was the emo day. and i realised i wasn't as strong as before. holding back my tears in front of everyone was so hard. i almost cried while walking away. shhhh =xx that scolding wasn't enough to trigger the red button..it was something else..which i have running away from. you got to face it again. i keep telling myself this. incidents after incidents, people grow up, why can't i? how can you be so strong?

i recently realised i have miss out a lot of good stuffs in life.
and now for some photos :)

appreciate the sky sunset at my workplace

so many mooncakes...i wonder how am i going to finish them all..hmm

2007-09-10T23:47:00.000+08:00

i ran from the the lom day today.
questioning myself what was wrong with me.
it was such an unlucky day being alone and with the same group with this person. oh man.
completely lost...
i noticed i haven't prepare myself to face anyone..

but still i have enjoyed myself today..taking a break from work makes me feel good.
seeing friends brightens my day :)

2007-09-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

receiving calls at call centre is so stressful arhh...my first call was even terrible..with no assistance..however everyday is a challenge, you won't know what kind of customers you are actually expecting, what they want. yes and you better don't quote the wrong price or you are dead. anxiety is bothering me. i even think of receiving calls while sleeping! gosh..i know it's very exaggerating. it's exactly the type of nightmare i will get whenever i drive a car. one word - STRESS.

and seriously saying i don't want to go to this lom day!! because i don't want to see you! i seriously don't want to see..i am still recovering. i don't want to see anything i don't wish to see! and i know i won't be blind that day. i cant control my eyes! and i should so far i am quite happy. now i love these days. i am smiling from inside. oh yes despite of all the stress i get from work. it's definitely better than seeing you. one must be thinking i am childish or siao qi. yes it's the 'fei chang shi qi'. and shit look what i have just said. god must be playing on me seconds ago. i try not to think but it still comes to you. and that's all because my english is poor.

what i can do now is treat this as a day off! in fact it was really a day off for me. a day to relax myself, have fun with my polytechnic friends..right? be strong, because you are definitely not the most 'suay' person in this world! i am very sure! just because you are single doesn't mean you are unlucky! you skipped death lots of times! and that's the most fortunate thing a person can ever get!

i am falling with love again! but this time in drinking and subway! hahas..i want to 'get high!' in drinking. and subway..i wish i can eat at least once a day. thats for now lahs. i am spending more than normal these days, especially in food. but i am not getting fatter. =/

i am smiling once again.
i have a wish. a wish that a time machine will bring me back time
i am missing friends of mine. wondering how they are doing..